I think I know myself pretty well at this stage of my life. So, it’s kind of a revelation when someone who knows me for a long time points out something I haven’t really explored a whole lot.
That happened last week when I visited my dear friends in Florida for a few days — that’s the three of us in the photo. I’ve known Minx and Drazia since we went through coach training together over 25 years ago and we’ve been connected in one way or another ever since. In fact, you might notice Minx’s name on the “Authentic Woman Seasonal Playbooks” we wrote together with another dear coach friend, Marsha Lehman.
Then, five years ago, we journeyed through the Positive Intelligence coach training and loved being in regular touch so much that we’ve continued to talk every other week. In the last few years I’ve gone down to visit them several times, and it’s always delicious to be able to go deeper with looong, juicy conversations, meditations, little rituals, fabulous feasting, and pulling cards — like that “Together” card from the Nature Mandala deck that we randomly picked in the photo!
So, one of the things we did this time was to exchange beautiful little bracelets that I got for us from a wonderful shop near me in NYC (check out “My Little Magic Shop” if you’re local, but they also offer free shipping). We blessed the bracelets by sharing what we loved about each other and what we wished for each other… I have mine on right now as i write this.
And here’s the punch line (after a long backstory so you’d understand how special they are to me!) —
Opening up to the wisdom of dear friends
BOTH of them told me that they so love how FEARLESS I am! I was shocked, cuz I feel like for most of my life, I’ve worried about what people will think of me, that they’ll think I’m too “woo-hoo and won’t take me seriously. I know I’ve gone a long way in unraveling those old tapes, but they can still jump up and bite me in the butt sometimes.
They shared that they love how I jump into things with both feet, that I’m not afraid to say what I think or try something new. As I thought more about it, I can also acknowledge the work I did for 15 years as the Founder and Managing Director of the 4thU Artivists was pretty fearless, too. In a patriarchal society, raising awareness and funds to end gender-based violence and systemic oppression is definitely a balls-y (or wombs-y!) thing to do!
And I realized how perfectly that fits into the energy of the upcoming New Moon in Aries on September 26th. Aries is ruled by Mars, the warrior god and planet, and embodies courage, assertiveness, and a fire-y full-steam-ahead vibe.
We’re now also moving through the Libra season (from September 22 to October 23) and while I don’t have a lot of Aries in my birth chart, I do have lots of Libra which loves peace and harmony and building nurturing relationships. But as any astrological sign has it’s upsides and downsides, Libra can also be people-pleasing and conflict-avoidant… hence my first instinct to not rock the boat. So, to have two dear friends say that they experience me as FEARLESS felt pretty empowering!
AND that dynamic Full Moon duo (Sun in Aries, Moon in Libra) really captures the courage it can take sometimes to build strong relationships with healthy boundaries. To take a deep breath to honor your authentic self and express what you need to the people you care about the most.
How do you honor your essence and ask for what you need
So, the question I’ve been playing with since my dear friends planted it is one that I invite you to explore, too:
Where in your life have you had — or NEED to have — those kinds of Courageous Conversations so you can live more fearlessly??
Yes, that can be on a personal level as I’ve just described, but it can also inspire us to take a stand in a more public way. Perhaps to commit to a passion or core value or unconventional belief so that we might sway others to take action with us. Where can you be a truth-teller or a rabble-rouser in order to expand and/or deepen your important relationships… and maybe even make a difference in the world?
We’ll be exploring that in our Aries/Libra Full Moon TeleMeditation this Friday, September 25th at Noon — click HERE for details on how to join us. Hope to “hear” you then!
(And after that, I’d love for you to come to my upcoming Libra New Moon SisterCircle through the Wellness Universe on Fri., October 9th when we’ll be navigating “The Dance of Relationships” — a perfect time to identify those relationships where you want to create some Courageous Conversations!)
Now, please do read on for my Deb’s Picks this month. Enjoy!
ONE BILLION RISING FOR SURVIVORS — Fri., Sept. 25; 4:30 – 6:30 NYC
Of course, I’ll always have a special place in my heart for “V” (formerly Eve Ensler) and her powerful work in the world — she’s the one who inspired me to launch 4thU Artivists in 2009. One Billion Rising continues to amplify her message and this event focus on the 60 million survivors in this country who are still waiting for justice. You can click on the poster to watch their compelling video and to sign their collective statement: “We, as women and gender-expansive people in the United States, are outraged by the absence of accountability for abusers. By the lack of care for survivors. By the disregard for their suffering, their waiting, and their truth.” Then, let me know if you can join us in NYC, or maybe start a Rising in your area! Talk about a Courageous Conversation…
ART OF FIGHTING by PRIYA PARKER
I discovered Priya when I read her first book, “The Art of Gathering” 6 years ago, and have been on her mailing list ever since. She’s basically a facilitator of Courageous Conversations, helping people navigate the space between each other: families in conflict, executives facing tough decisions, communities trying to hold together across differences. And now she’s teaching us specifically about how to fight well, in any relationship. The subtitle says it all — “the transformative power of conflict.”. It just came out and I can wait to read it!
HONORING GLORIA STEINEM and DOLLY PARTON
I doubt that there’s anyone in the world who doesn’t know that we lost these two iconic women in the last month. What I didn’t know about is Gloria’s tribute to Dolly, originally published in the January 1987 issue, when Parton was named one of Ms. magazine’s Women of the Year. Steinem celebrated Parton not only as a gifted songwriter and magnetic performer, but as a shrewd businessperson who transformed femininity into a source of humor and power—and used her success to lift up working women, poor communities and the mountain people of her native Tennessee. Click on the link to read that tribute, then check out feminist writer Rebecca Solnit’s tributes for each of them.… both brilliant.
DEB’S “TRANSITIONING TO FALL” YOUTUBE VIDEO
As I said in my interivew for “The Visible Years” digital photo series that I highlighted in last month’s Deb’s Picks, I’ve gotten increasingly more comfortable flying my “freak flag” over the last 10 years… I guess that makes me fearless, too! One of the ways that’s unfolded is re-activating my YouTube channel in 2020 (1730 subscribers now and counting) with regular videos like the “Inner Goddess Team” series and multiple year-long themes. There’s another seasonal one that’s going live this week for the Fall Equinox, but then this one bubbled up from 14 years ago and my fabulous web-goddess reposted it with a new introduction. Click on the top link if you want to see my haircut from back then. 🙂
BELIEVER FLASH MOB in Paris
OK, at first I wanted to include this just cuz it’s so fun. And yes, the 300 singers, musicians and dancers in this incredible video are totally fearless in their rendition of this massive modern hit from the Imagine Dragons. But then, as I’ve continued to learn more, it turns out that the original lead singer, Dan Reynolds, co-wrote it with queer songwriter Justin Tranter, who brought his own anxiety about the political climate and the LGBTQ community into the track’s creation. Reynolds has stated that the song is fundamentally about taking personal pain, turning it into drive, and feeling free to express your true self. Definitely a courageous musical conversation — no accident it popped up for me this week!
I hope you’ll check out some of these Picks that have resonated with you! Please do share any other events or resources that you think our Spirited Living community would love to know about.
With fearless Fall blessings, Deborah