I’d love to hear what you’re looking for for YOUR wedding.
The wedding ceremony is perhaps the most important part of your big day, but finding the perfect language, music and symbols can be overwhelming and stressful. Crafting just the right words and rituals to capture this pivotal moment as you officially embark on your new life together is something I take serious and cherish.
I will create and officiate a meaningful wedding ceremony that honors & blends your faith traditions or, as many of my couples request, something that’s spiritual, but not religious. Each allows you to express love for and commitment to each other in a unique, creative way.
Over the years, I’ve heard a wide range of concerns from my couples; different religious traditions, unique spiritual perspectives, personal preferences, and parental/family considerations. I’d love to speak with you about yours, to see what we can create together.
If you are looking for a short, sweet, ceremony, these are the basic components:
Opening Words — brief statement about the meaning and value of love and marriage, personalized to talk about the two of you.
Readings — affirm and support the opening statement about love and marriage.
Question Of Intent — asks the couple to promise the community that they will create a stable, lasting marriage.
Vows — the promises the couple make to each other.
Exchange Of Rings — blessed by the officiate and exchanged as symbols of the promises made in the vows.
Blessing — offered by the officiant in support of the marriage.
Closing Words — a statement of hope for the future.
Announcement Or Declaration— summary and affirmation of what has just occurred. It is followed by The Kiss which marks the end of the ceremony!
Most couples choose to add two or more of these unique, personal touches to the Basic Ceremony Structure:
- Unity candle
- Blessing ribbons
- Handfasting
- Sharing special food and drink
- Giving of Roses
- Taking your measure
- Sand ceremony
- Breaking the glass
- Braided circle of commitment
- Jumping the broom
- Let’s create a special one just for you!
Once we’ve agree on all the various components outlined above, we come to what I think is the most meaningful part of the wedding ceremony – your vows to each other. Now, I think I’m really good at what I do, but I also know from years of experience that the most powerful part of my ceremonies is when the couple express their love and promises directly to each other, in their own words – something that doesn’t happen in most traditional ceremonies.
Your vows can be in the form of a two or three-line declaration, a story, poem, or letter… whatever best reflects your personality – the idea is to create a heartfelt declaration that captures your love and excitement in making this joyful commitment. Don’t worry… there’s no memorizing – I’ll hold the book for you to read your own words. They can be as simple or as eloquent as you choose and if you’re feeling nervous or stuck, I will coach you both through the process and have several books I can recommend as well. Any couple who’s ever been reticent about writing their vows; have always thanked me for nudging them to!
Additional Wedding Services:
Sometimes it’s helpful to have an objective third party hold the space for you as you contemplate the big issues of creating and sustaining a lifelong relationship. Work, family time, children, in-laws, spiritual life… these are some of the areas to address so you can begin this new journey with confidence and excitement.
When we first start working together, I send all of my couples a comprehensive “Pre-Marital Relationship Assessment” and ask that they each complete it separately and discuss it. If there are areas or issues that you’d like some additional support with, we can do that in 2 or 3 coaching sessions, or you might want to consider the more structured “Partners in Life”(PIL) program with a workbook and exercises. For more information on this powerful program, please check the bottom of the Relationship Coaching page.
And keep in mind that this relationship support can be done before OR after your wedding… I’ve learned from experience that the pre-wedding weeks and months can be just a little busy and it’s often nice to give yourselves this wedding gift after you’re back from your honeymoon!
Whether you’ve been married 5 years or 25 years, renewing your marriage vows can be a powerful re-commitment to all of those promises you made when you were first married… as well as adding some important new insights you’ve gained since then! I’ve created intimate ceremonies with some couples and more elaborate ones for others as part of their larger “Happy Anniversary” festivities. As with the wedding ceremony, we tailor it to meet whatever style fits with your vision of a special anniversary celebration.
Imagine creating a magical web of support the day (or month) before the wedding with all of the special women (and girls) in the bridal party. We create an atmosphere of sacred play, allowing them to celebrate what they love most about the bride and giving her an opportunity to thank them for all their love and support.
These are typically arranged with someone other than the bride and provide an opportunity for her friends and family to create a truly meaningful (but still thoroughly fun) celebration for her. Sorry, I’m not giving any details here… it’s a surprise, so have your Maid of Honor (or whoever is coordinating your Shower or B-Party) call me!