Holding a Positive Mindset during the Holiday Whirlwind
Is it just me, or is all the holiday hype starting WAY earlier than usual this year?? I always thought Thanksgiving was the “official” start date of the Christmas/Hanukah/New Years/Everything-else celebrations, but even Disney World was completely Christmas-fied when we were there the first week of November. (See that huge Christmas tree at the end of the fully decorated Main Street in the Magic Kingdom?!)
While it’s true that I personally love the holiday season, I also know that it can be a difficult time for so many people. In my December 2023 Deb’s Picks, I wrote about how both happy and sad memories are right on the surface this time of year… it’s definitely a tender time, a time of “poignant joy”, which I wrote about last year as well.
Memories of my dad
I think of my dad who struggled with depression and anxiety for many years, though he was in a good place when he died 30 years ago. He was also the most optimistic person I knew, always looking for creative ways to get things done. Like going halves with us kids to buy a bike if we could work to raise our share. Or building a house on Martha’s Vineyard which seemed so pie-in-the-sky for a middle class family with 4 kids. He found a contractor to put up the shell, then we painted the inside and shingled the outside ourselves. I still have vivid memories of standing on a scaffolding with my older brother, hammering away!
Holding stress and positivity in difficult times
And of course, I’m thinking of my dear friend and college roommate, Okhee, who just died in August. She experienced so much heartache in her life… lost 2 sons at childbirth, then both her parents in a tragic accident, and finally battled cancer for 5 years. And yet, she was always upbeat, experiencing life to the fullest, right up to the end. If a positive attitude has anything to do with longevity, she was a poster child!
And likewise, my wonderful “bonus-sister” (sister-in-law) Lara, who lost her 21-year-old son to lymphoma 4 years ago. Last month, I shared the beautiful podcast interview she did entitled, “Do You Have to Put Grief Down to Experience Joy?” where she so eloquently shares her ongoing healing journey. (My brother Jeff shared his powerful journey in a separate podcast, but not with the joy/grief theme.)
I do think it’s possible to be optimistic without being Pollyanna-ish. And I believe that our moods and attitudes most definitely affect our body, mind, and consciousness on the deepest levels.
Cultivating a positive mindset
If there was ever a time to work on creating a positive mindset, I’d say the holiday season offers a great college-level opportunity to do that. It could be actively looking for the gifts in any challenge, or simply carving out times of self-nurturing stillness in the midst of the season’s hype.
How might you find balance and even tender joy in everything swirling around you over the next month or so?
You could get a little boost from the upcoming Gemini/Sagittarius Full Moon on December 4th. We entered the Sagittarius season on November 22nd and its positive, uplifting, social energy can help carry us through the holidays as long as it’s tempered with some solid planning and self-care practices, which Gemini can help with.
With the rational, mental energy of this Gemini Full Moon, we’ve got a solid counter-balance to the sometimes over-the-top Sagittarius Sun energy shining down on us. Gemini is ruled by Mercury, the planet of communication, so on this Full Moon you may also be drawn to examine how you think – there’s that possibility of working on your positive mindset!
My Deb’s Picks this month reflects all of those themes in one way or another, with a few holiday treats thrown in. Check them out below and let me know what resonates with you.
THE POWER OF POSITIVE THINKING
Phew… this ended up being a big dive down the rabbit hole! I intended to share with you a piece I’d seen several places about a “remarkable study from Israel” that reportedly showed how our blood is directly affected by our mindsets, either joyful or angry. I wanted to read the study for myself, but lo and behold, it’s nowhere to be found. In fact, there’s an excellent article that dissects the piece step by step to show that it’s a hoax. So be in the lookout! I’d like to think there are similiar studies out there… if you know of any, let me know.
Instead, I went right to probably the first introduction to the power of postive thinking, Norman Vincent Peale’s book of the same name, published in 1952. It definitely has a religious slant which may not appeal to some, but the concept has spawned many books and much research. One of the best overviews I found (including links to many studies) on how positive thinking affect your health was from the Mayo Clinic. Definitely click on the link above to read it and then practice over the holidays!
AUTUMN: A SEASON OF PARADOX by Parket Palmer
If you haven’t heard of him, Parker Palmer is an author and educator who writes on a wide range of topics from education to social change to spirituality and more. This recent blog, so captured me… yes, he’s talking about the paradoxes of autumn, but I think it applies equally to the complexity of emotions that we can face this time of year. He writes about how for a long time, he felt such sadness, watching the beautiful leaves fall. But then, he realized that “all the ‘falling’ out there is full of promise. Seeds are being planted and leaves composted…” for a return of green in the spring.
He acknowledges that “we live in a culture of either/or that does not know how to hold opposites as both/and.” I’ve often said that our capacity to hold both the joys and heartaches in life, sometimes at the same time, is what makes us beautifully human. Click on the link above and let me know what you think.
RELEASE. RENEW. REIGNITE WORKSHOP w/Barbara Biziou Dec 10, 6:30-9pm LIVE in NYC
My dear friend Barbara is offering a whole host of wonderfull events this holiday season and beyond… you’ll hear more in next month’s newsletter, but this one feels perfectly timed to give you some powerful nurturing during this busy time. As she describes it, you’ll experience “guided meditation, ritual, and community sharing… as you’re supported in releasing the old and anchoring higher frequencies of purpose, joy, and light.” I wish I could make it… tell her I sent you!
SOHARMONIUMS HOLIDAY CONCERT Dec. 16, 8pm at 4th Universalist Society
What a thrill — two of my most beloved communities are once again coming together — my wonderful women’s chorus is presenting their Winter concert in my beautiful UU church! It’s our 20th anniversary and we’ll be serenading you with our usual captivating repertoire, ranging from classical to contemporary to holiday favorites, including a touching rendition of “For Good” from Wicked. You can click on the link above to get LIVE tickets… and definitely do it now cuz we sold out last year. OR TO LIVESTREAM, click HERE (it’s a different Eventbrite page than the live tix). Let me know if you can make it!
WINTER SOLSTICE CELEBRATION at 4thU Sun., December 21 at 7pm
The Solstices and Equinoxes anchor the Earth-centered wheel of the year and I’m so grateful that my spiritual community is committed to honoring them. Our Winter Solsctice ritual is particularly lovely, a tranquil service that celebrates the longest night of the year with music, stillness, and poetry. You can join us in person at 160 Central Park West or on Zoom at this link. I’d love to see you there.
I hope some of these Picks have motivated you to create some quiet time this holiday season and cultivate ways to elevate your mindset, not just to survive the whirlwind, but also to re-commit to the spiritual practices that allow you to do that. You can join us for the Sagittarius New Moon SisterCircle on Dec. 19th to jumpstart those commitments, too.
As always, if you’ve got any other Soul-full events or resources to share, I’d love to hear them!
With bright holiday blessings,
Deborah