With my Moon and my rising sign in Libra, both ruled by Venus, I’ve always been drawn to explore the gifts and challenges of relationships and human connection in general. Probably why my BA and Master’s degrees are in Psychology! (That photo of my extended family gives you an idea of how many relationships I’m managing just in my own little world!)
When I was researching for my Master’s thesis, I discovered the concept of “self-in-relation”, a relatively new theory back in the mid-90s that was coined by the brilliant women at the Stone Center for Women’s Studies at Wellesley College. Basically, it argues that for women, mental health is rooted in mutual connection, empathy, and emotional engagement… challenging the more traditional patriarchal models that prioritize separation and independence.
The founding scholars first published “Work in Progress” papers in the early 1980s, which culminated in the book “Women’s Growth in Connection“ in1991. It was my introduction to the idea and has informed my ongoing exploration of “relationship” ever since.
Then, as I moved through my coach training a few years later, there was a powerful emphasis on encouraging “extreme self care” for our clients (and ourselves!), recognizing that if we’re not taking care of ourselves first, we won’t have enough bandwidth to support those we love or dedicate ourselves fully to the work we want to do in the world.
Relationship with ourselves, first
You know I embraced that practice wholeheartedly, acknowledging that we’re not just talking about manicures and massages, but rather self care on EVERY level — mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I renamed it “sacred SELF-Centeredness” because I do believe it’s a spiritual practice, and it’s the focus of my book, “Circle of One: The Art of Becoming a SELF-Centered Woman”
Soooo, this brings me to the upcoming Libra/Aries Full Moon on April 1st. I’ve always riffed on some aspect of relationships when it comes to this Libra/Aries polarity (there’s another one in the Fall when the Moon in Aries and the Sun is in Libra), but tended to focus more on strengthening personal relationships… after all, I am a Relationship Coach!
However, I’m expanding my lense with this Full Moon to explore what it really means to be in “right relationship” — not only with others (Libra), but with ourselves (Aries), our choices, and the larger web of life we’re part of. It’s easy to default to harmony, to be careful not to “rock the boat”, or to look outside ourselves for clarity.
But this lunation asks something more honest: Where am I being called to trust my own voice? To speak, choose, or act from a deeper place of knowing? This month’s Picks explore relationship in its widest sense — from forgiveness and reconciliation, to collective belonging (both very Libran), to the courage of truth-tellling (embodying that dynamic Aries energy) — inviting us into a more aligned and authentic way of being in connection.
So, be sure to join us for our Libra/Aries Full Moon TeleMeditation this Wednesday, April 1st at Noon — click HERE for details on how to join us. Hope to “hear” you then!
(And after that, I’d love you to join me for my upcoming Aries New Moon SisterCircle through the Wellness Universe on Fri., April 17th when we’ll be “Reclaiming Athena & our Inner Amazon”. Hope to see you then.)
ELDERING WOMEN’S SACRED CIRCLE TO HONOR OUR RELATIONSHIP TO THE EARTH — 9 weeks starting April 8, 12-1:30 ET
I’ll bet that image grabbed your attention! I just finished a 10-week program with the brilliant Alison Palmer, author, artist, and sacred circle facilitator (and much more) and was so captivated by her wisdom and insightful leadership. Not to mention the 30 other women in the group, each one with their own fascinating stories and perspectives. Truly a powerful experience of deepening my “self-in-relation”. Her next series starts soon and expands the conversation to include how we can bring our Elder-wisdom to protect our Earth Mother — another angle of “right relationship”. IF that resonates with you, click on the image for details… and I’m happy to share my experience if that’s helpful, too.
EARTHBOUND INTIMACY from Rob Brezsny
I know I offer up Rob’s work here on a regular basis, but he’s just such a thought-provoking, wonderful writer! And this newsletter so beautifully addresses the idea of intimacy as presence, not just partnership. That means intimacy with life, with the body, with the moment, and with the Earth. He expands intimacy beyond romance into aliveness… so in alignment with our theme for this Libra Full Moon! Click on image to read the whole thing.
BUDDHIST PRINCIPLE OF RIGHT RELATIONSHIP
Another powerful representation of our theme for this lunation. The 8-Fold Path is a foundation Buddhist practice that teaches us the way to live with wisdom and joy — in RIGHT Speech, Action, View, Effort, Mindfulness, Thought, Livelihood, and Concentration. It elevates the concept of Relationship ethically, ecologically, and spiritually — it’s not about being right or wrong, but rather choosing your path to live in alighment with the highest of these principles. You don’t have to be Buddhist to embrace this Path, but it can certainlly inform how you move through life.
UBUNTU CONCEPT – I AM BECAUSE YOU ARE Interview w/James Ogude
Ubuntu is yet another beautiful expansion of our view of relationship from “my relationships” to “who am I in the web of life”. This interview with a leading African scholar really captures the essence of this ancient principle as a means to embrace interdependence & shared humanity vs. strict individualism. It “imposes a sense of moral obligation regarding your responsibility for others even before you think of yourself.”. Can you imagine how the world would be different if our leaders adopted this practice?!
PRACTICING HO’OPONOPONO
I learned about this simple, powerful practice years ago, but reconnnected to it through one of the amazing women in my Crone-wisdom group I shared about above. This ancient Hawaiian prayer for forgiveness and reconciliation is actually a process of making things right in all of your relationships — with others, ancestors, deities, the earth, yourself. It’s based on the philosophy that that we’re each responsible for what shows up in our reality… we own our feelings and our experiences. So even if someone else has wronged us, we’re the ones saying “I am sorry. Forgive me…” You can read more by clicking on the image, or get the beautiful, bestselling little book that goes into more detail.
I hope you’ve been inspired to explore some of these “relational” offerings further! I’d love to hear how you’re doing that, and as always, please do share any other events or resources that have resonated with you.
With deeply connected blessings,
Deborah